You caught your husband cheating, and it made you furious. Before he knew it, you were slapping a divorce paper down in front of him and telling him to get out of the house.
You have photographs and other proof of what happened to end your marriage, but is that really going to affect your case in California? Sadly, the answer is, "probably not."
You have kids with your ex-spouse, but you have a very hard time coparenting. Your ex is narcissistic and frustrating to talk to. They think that everything is about them and that every comment or suggestion you make is intended to undermine them.
How can you cope with such a frustrating situation with your ex-spouse when your children are involved? It starts with understanding how to communicate better.
You, like most other California residents going through this process, want to get the most out of your divorce. While your end goal is to no longer be married to your current spouse, you certainly have other details to consider as well. For instance, you may have a goal to get through the process as quickly as possible. You may also want to come out of your divorce with your financial integrity intact.
Fortunately, you can help yourself achieve these and other goals you may have for your marriage dissolution case. However, it is important to keep in mind that what you may think would be beneficial to you could prove detrimental.
When people think about an affair that ends a marriage, they often turn to thoughts of one that's physical. That is certainly one type, but some marriages end because of an emotional affair. In these affairs, there might not be physical contact, but there is a definite connection that the two people have with each other.
The issue with an emotional affair is that the married individual begins to turn to that affair partner for support. They might be unhappy in their marriage, so they don't want to bring issues to their spouse. While some people might think that this is just normal, it is a huge deal for some married individuals.
After you get a divorce judgment, you might think that's the last you'll have to deal with any of those old issues. However, if you find out that your custody arrangements aren't going to work, that your ex-spouse had a change in circumstances or that you've had a significant change in circumstances, it may be time to ask for a modification.
When you can't meet the terms of your agreement, it's important to seek a modification instead of making your own arrangements.
In California, those who go to court over their divorce and haven't decided how to divide their property may be held to a 50-50 split of their community property. While that may seem fair on the surface, splitting your marital assets in half isn't always what is fair or just for the people involved.
Take, for example, a stay-at-home parent who has been home for two years with their children after spending many years supporting their spouse while they were in school. That person may want to seek even more of the shared assets since they were the one who worked hard and paid for their spouse's education in hopes of having a better financial future.
When you're worried about your ex-spouse overstepping and hurting your relationship with your child, it makes you frustrated. You hate that you'll punish your child and not be able to get support. You don't like that they make it out like you're being uncaring or unfair.
A situation like this can be harmful to your child, so it's important that you speak up if you're having issues with the way your ex-spouse is parenting or getting involved in your parenting. You should both be on the same page when it comes to caring for your child, so if you can't agree, that's a big problem.
During a major change in life, especially one that could be negative, many people want to reach out to friends and family for support. These days, what better way to do that than through social media? Of course, if you are going through a divorce, you may want to remember that your social media activity could come back to haunt you.
It can be difficult to refrain from social media activity because it has become such a significant part of most people's daily lives, but if you need support during this time, it may be better to make phone calls or meet up with friends or family members who you can talk to and better ensure the privacy of your conversations.
You and your spouse agreed that a divorce is the right option after you found out that he had been cheating on you. It was a difficult situation, but you knew that it would be better for everyone if you and he divorced.
Your children weren't sure what was happening, so you took the time to explain everything to them. Over time, you and your spouse came up with a great parenting plan, a custody schedule you both agreed on and were moving forward. Your children even seemed to adjust.
You and your ex-spouse have a good child support agreement in place. They generally pay on time and are honest when they are going to be late or need to pay less. On the whole, you've been happy with the situation.
Then, your ex called one day to tell you that they had lost their job. They want to change how much they pay in support. While you understand why they need to, it also means that your child's financial support is going to take a hit. You don't want to go without the benefits that they need to cover their medical care or extracurricular activities.
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The Law Offices of Oliver R. Gutierrez
600 Allerton St., Suite 200
Redwood City,
CA
94063
Phone:
650-399-0962
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