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Redwood City Family Law Blog

A post-divorce modification can help you end support obligations

When your marriage ended, you had to pay spousal support. You've done what you were told to do and paid on time every month. You even increased support when you got a raise at work.

Something that you didn't expect, though, was to find out that your ex-spouse had not mentioned that she got engaged. She didn't tell you that she had moved in with her partner or that there was wedding date set. In your mind, these things should have ended the support requirement, because she was no longer living alone.

Moving after divorce: Can you take the kids?

You've been wanting to move back to your hometown, but it's several hours from where you and your spouse lived. Now that you're divorced, you want to move away, but with children, you feel it's impossible. If you're three or four hours away, visitation would be much harder.

You still want to try to move, though, because the job opportunities in that area are better for you. You have family there, and you'd have more support. Your ex-spouse isn't keen on having your children travel so far, even though the move could be beneficial.

How do you start dividing your marital assets?

Dealing with property division when you're divorcing isn't always easy. You may have a complex case, and with California's community property laws, it could be hard to know how to divide your property equally.

There are some tips you can follow to start this process and to move forward. Here are some ideas for you and your spouse to consider.

Can you agree to lower or higher child support?

After you get a divorce, you may find that you want to seek a modification of your divorce decree. While it's possible to seek a modification through court, many people who want to make changes to the divorce agreement will do so informally and then ask the court to approve those changes.

Child support is one item that is often modified following a divorce. For example, if you are paying child support and get a large raise, you may be able to pay more. Your ex-spouse may ask you to increase what you pay, or they could petition the court for a change because of the difference in your circumstances.

Will adultery negatively affect a divorce case in California?

You caught your husband cheating, and it made you furious. Before he knew it, you were slapping a divorce paper down in front of him and telling him to get out of the house.

You have photographs and other proof of what happened to end your marriage, but is that really going to affect your case in California? Sadly, the answer is, "probably not."

Coparenting with a narcissist is hard, but you can do it

You have kids with your ex-spouse, but you have a very hard time coparenting. Your ex is narcissistic and frustrating to talk to. They think that everything is about them and that every comment or suggestion you make is intended to undermine them.

How can you cope with such a frustrating situation with your ex-spouse when your children are involved? It starts with understanding how to communicate better.

Approach your divorce case with confidence

You, like most other California residents going through this process, want to get the most out of your divorce. While your end goal is to no longer be married to your current spouse, you certainly have other details to consider as well. For instance, you may have a goal to get through the process as quickly as possible. You may also want to come out of your divorce with your financial integrity intact.

Fortunately, you can help yourself achieve these and other goals you may have for your marriage dissolution case. However, it is important to keep in mind that what you may think would be beneficial to you could prove detrimental.

Emotional affairs can lead to divorce

When people think about an affair that ends a marriage, they often turn to thoughts of one that's physical. That is certainly one type, but some marriages end because of an emotional affair. In these affairs, there might not be physical contact, but there is a definite connection that the two people have with each other.

The issue with an emotional affair is that the married individual begins to turn to that affair partner for support. They might be unhappy in their marriage, so they don't want to bring issues to their spouse. While some people might think that this is just normal, it is a huge deal for some married individuals.

If your situation changes, a modification of custody could help

After you get a divorce judgment, you might think that's the last you'll have to deal with any of those old issues. However, if you find out that your custody arrangements aren't going to work, that your ex-spouse had a change in circumstances or that you've had a significant change in circumstances, it may be time to ask for a modification.

When you can't meet the terms of your agreement, it's important to seek a modification instead of making your own arrangements.

Should you decide on property division outside court?

In California, those who go to court over their divorce and haven't decided how to divide their property may be held to a 50-50 split of their community property. While that may seem fair on the surface, splitting your marital assets in half isn't always what is fair or just for the people involved.

Take, for example, a stay-at-home parent who has been home for two years with their children after spending many years supporting their spouse while they were in school. That person may want to seek even more of the shared assets since they were the one who worked hard and paid for their spouse's education in hopes of having a better financial future.


The Law Offices of Oliver R. Gutierrez
600 Allerton St., Suite 200
Redwood City, CA 94063

Phone: 650-399-0962
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