Actions such as stonewalling, avoiding conflict or invalidating a partner’s feelings can often lead to divorce, according to relationship experts. However, many spouses in California do not realize that they are engaging in these behaviors that could destroy a marriage.
Stonewalling happens when one partner refuses to discuss an issue. It might be because the person is overwhelmed with emotion, but the longterm effect remains harmful. Conflict avoidance could seem like a positive thing, but it means couples will never work out their differences. Invalidating a partner’s feelings can refer to a series of small but consistent comments, such as contradicting a partner who feels the temperature is too warm or too cold. All of these are problems that can breed resentment and harm a relationship.
Some spouses may carry past baggage from another relationship. Unfortunately, this baggage could destroy the new relationship. Even if a previous partner was unfaithful, it is important to trust the new partner or jealousy could damage the marriage. Other partners hide financial information from one another or have such different attitudes about money that it hurts their relationship.
When partners split up because they do not share common interests, they might negotiate an amicable agreement for property division. However, problems with money or invalidating each other’s emotions are the types of unhealthy issues that may be carried into divorce negotiations. Underlying resentment could make negotiation impossible. This is where legal representation might be helpful. If necessary, a lawyer could use litigation to help a client obtain a fair divorce arrangement.